Family ties

Growing up, I was surrounded by family. Parents, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all lived near me in San Antonio, except for the outliers in Houston. I saw everyone on Shabbat or at the holidays. I have incredibly fond memories of my mother's huge, elegant feasts, and all of us kids playing, talking, singing and hanging out. We were about as goofy as a bunch of kids could be. I can honestly look back on my childhood and proclaim it "happy".

Today, one sister lives in New York. My nephew is in university back in Texas, my niece is spending a year in Israel. My other sister is in California. She has an adorable 4-year old and a baby on the way (que sea en una buena hora). My brother-in-law and his wife are also expecting a baby, their first. They'll be heading out East next year. Most of my cousins are scattered up and down the East coast. Fortunately, I do have a couple of cousins here in Chicago. I'm not completely cut off from the ties that bind.

This week I had a special visit from one of my cousins, a former Houston outlier. He called a week ago to say he had a business trip coming up. I was so excited, I did the happy dance! The anticipation was contagious. My children, who hardly knew their big cousin, if at all, were eagerly awaiting his arrival, as well. When we finally picked him up, the whole car was abuzz with our joy at seeing our Florida visitor. The kids were vying for his attention, telling him stories, singing him songs. Even the baby was getting in on the action. "Jo-Jo! Jo-Jo!" She called out to him.

And to think he was worried that they would ignore him, wondering who this stranger was.

But my kids get it. The have this instinct that family is somehow special. When my cousin here in Chicago came for Shabbat dinner, they were a bit shy with her. When I reminded them that she was their cousin, the coyness disappeared, and they refused to leave her alone. They brought her stacks of books to read, and climbed all over her like a jungle gym. She withstood the excessive and exhausting attention with patience and grace.

I was so fortunate growing up to be able to take family for granted. It's so different today. We are so scattered, so busy, so removed from one another. And it's not just the kids. My cousin from Florida only stayed for one night. We brought him home, fed the kids and put them to bed. Then, he took me out to dinner at Chicago's nicest kosher restaurant. He and I talked and laughed, a little too much and a little too loud. But I couldn't help myself. It had been so long since I'd seen him, and I've always been so crazy about my little cousin. He's grown to be such a sweet, elegant, bright, handsome young man. Of course, I'm not surprised. He was that way as a kid. The smile on my face lasted the whole next day.

With luck, business will bring "Jo-Jo" back to Chicago in the near future. We're expecting a visit from my preggers sister, too. I can't wait to rub her belly. I'm hoping she'll bring my nephew along so he can hang out with his cousins. Tomorrow we're visiting my Chicago cousin and meeting her new puppy. I expect the kids will embrace the dog as a new cousin, as well.

Family is so important. We have been blessed to have the kind of family we not only love, but love to be with. My sister, cousins, nieces and nephews make me smile bigger and laugh from somewhere deeper inside. I see it in my children, too. The word "cousin" causes their inhibitions to fall, and their hearts to open up.

My husband's law school has taken us far from my parents and grandmother, but near to cousins I had not been so close with before. It has also put us in the path of business meetings and other work-related events. With luck, being here will help us to cast a wider net around my family circle, and bring everyone closer in. With luck, my dining room table will soon be surrounded by my big extended family, eating too much, drinking too much, laughing too loud, smiling too big, and singing way, way off key.