The good life

Life is so good.

My husband finished off his semester on Thursday in a flurry of exams and papers. I don't know how he managed it. He took 6 courses, presided over the Jewish Law Students Association, researched for professors, got a paper accepted for publication, and still remained a significant presence in our home. And he did it without taking out his stress on any of us.

He's clearly not human.

I, on the other hand, am all too human.

In the midst of exams, I pulled off yet another over ambitious, over-the-top birthday party. My diva turned 6 on Cinco de Mayo, but we had less of a fiesta than a "Fancy Fair". The party theme was "Fancy Nancy", and the party guests did not disappoint.

Little girls arrived dressed to the nines.

They trickled in attired in tutus, princess dresses, tiaras, feather boas, bangles, sparkles, and jewels. Of course, not one of them was fully dressed without her smile.

My daughter decked herself out in her Alice in Wonderland costume accessorized to perfection.

As little princesses flitted in, I handed out coloring pages and crayons to keep them busy waiting for everyone to arrive.

While they created their masterpieces, I read the story Fancy Nancy.

Fancy Nancy came to us a year ago by way of Tia Mirth. It was the perfect party theme for my own fancy shmancy dreamer.

Once all of the other dreamers had flounced their ways in, the magical ballet teacher, Miss Katie, led them into the studio where they all learned the subtle art of being little ladies.

They learned to keep their pinkies up,

their chins up, their shoulders back,

and their dreams soaring.

Little sister was in heaven, getting to be "one of the girls" for once. Big brother, on the other hand, tried to act cool, aloof, disinterested.

But we saw right through the deception. He stood on the edges of the party snickering, but he didn't miss a thing.

The girls danced, and played, and indulged their frilly, sparkly fantasies. For my little girl, it was a much needed and rare chance to be the center of her world. We couldn't have given her a better gift.

We finished off with tea cakes, fruit skewers (with thanks to my Skokie Sistah), and a beautiful birthday cake.

And if that wasn't enough, the next day, we got to celebrate all over again at her school.

Another successful, exhausting party was relegated to a happy memory, and with the semester also tucked away, my husband and I could finally address some issues that had been set aside for greater introspection.

The biggest issue we had to deal with was our children's education. On the night of my daughter's birthday I had to attend a meeting for all of the third grade parents to discuss the "bullying problem" in my son's grade. It was a heated, emotionally charged meeting. And, not surprisingly, the parents complaining most bitterly about the administration and teachers were the parents of the alleged bullies. It made me so sad to hear how acrimonious parents were getting. It was enlightening to discover that this has been an issue since these kids were in first grade, yet here we were, at the end of their third grade year meeting about it for the first time.

My son hasn't been happy in school, and I could understand why. He had walked into an already unhealthy dynamic as a new kid with a quirky personality.

My daughter wasn't doing much better. She was also struggling to make her way into the social structures of her kindergarten year. Her birthday party was huge for her. For the first time she felt important and accepted.

Unlike San Antonio, a "one shul-one school" kind of town, Chicago has a large number of schools to choose from. My husband and I decided to explore some options. On Friday afternoon we headed way south to the Hyde Park neighborhood of Chicago where a small, but remarkable Jewish Day School resides. I had been hearing about the school ever since we moved here, usually in reverential terms. I heard it described as amazing and unique. It's reputed to have child-centered, individualized classes in a warm and diverse community. We had to check it out.

We arrived on Friday afternoon and took a tour with the principal. We pelted her with loads of questions and examined the students and surroundings to see if it might just be a better match for our kids.

I worry that I put too many hopes into the school, that I have prejudged it out of desperation for my kids to be happy and to fit in. But I liked what I saw and heard. No doubt, it's not perfect. The Hebrew and Judaics probably aren't as strong as what my kids are getting at their current school. The commute is dreadfully long, and the atmosphere is far less formal than I'm comfortable with. But I could see my son really thriving here.

As to my diva, I'm not so sure.

Our next step is to send them there for a day, and see what they think. My children, thank G-d, will thrive anywhere academically. They're bright, curious, and avid learners. But school is more than a place to fill one's head with facts, ideas, and book-learnin'. I hope it can be a place to develop friendships, confidence, and a strong sense of self. I want my kids to feel good about themselves, happy, connected. Moving here was hard enough without feeling like the new kid two years later.

My husband completed his second year of law school on Thursday. That night we went to a bar to celebrate with his classmates. Over the obnoxiously loud din of bad dance music, his classmates gushed about what a great guy he is. A great big smile spread across his face as they told me how impressed they were with him and his tremendous accomplishments. My husband didn't just fit in at law school, he has established himself in the heart of his program.

We want our kids to be able to learn to do the same.

The weather here has been awful. It's been cold and rainy all spring. We've had hints of good weather, but just as our hopes have risen with the mercury, they've been left chilled and soggy by the side of the road time and time again.

Nonetheless, life is good.

We have so much to celebrate and enjoy here. Birthdays, successful school life, and burgeoning friendships. We have so much hope for our future. My son is excited to see the new school, my husband is anxious to start his summer internship at the law firm. My daughter is still carrying the joyful memory of her birthday with her everywhere she goes.

We're all learning to hold our chins up, and our shoulders back.

We're trying to keep our pinkies up, too.