Moving blues

My 6 year old doesn't want to move. The conversations always start the same way:

"I just thought of something!" Then he proceeds to tell me his latest brilliant idea.

"We could keep our house and just stay with a friend!"

For the next three years? I ask.

"Yeah! And when Daddy's done with law school, we'll just go home!"

He has suggested at various times that Daddy go away to law school and come back when he's done, or that we just scrap the whole thing altogether.

It's enough to break a mother's heart. I know exactly what he's afraid of. We live a pretty idyllic life, and in our little corner of the world my kid is king. Everyone knows him and loves him and looks out for him. It won't be the same where we're going. He's not even sure they speak English there. I'm pretty sure they do in Chicago, but it's not enough to ease a little boy's racing mind.

I have many of the same fears. What if the people there are mean? What if we don't make friends? My little sweetness gives me laundry lists of his concerns and one by one I address them. I empathize, I comfort, and I do my best to get him excited about all of the wonderful things Chicago has to offer: snow, kosher pizza, and great museums for kids!

But Chicago doesn't have Kenseido, or Grandma, Papa, and Abuela, or the best bike racing street in the world. Chicago doesn't have the certainty of people and places so familiar and reliable that he can conjure them up in his mind like a museum diorama.

Too old to blithely go along, and too young to eagerly anticipate the widening of his horizons, my son faces this move with anxiety and courage. I'm so proud of the way he's handling this with a stiff upper lip. His approach, like his myriad questions, is very logical and quite sensible - to a 6 year old boy. He knows it's a fait accompli, but he hasn't given up trying.

Deep down I know this will be a great move for all of us. My husband is expanding his intellectual muscle, and the rest of us are moving onto a bigger and better life full of opportunities and wonderful challenges. Deep down, I think my little wonder knows it, too.